Holidays With The Cullens
by Duck Life
Summary: A series of holidays with the Cullens. Updated irregularly because I will update on holidays. Post-Breaking Dawn. Please R&R!
1. Thanksgiving

I darted around the Cullen's mansion, shadowing Esme as we hurriedly cleaned up before our guests came. "Bella," moaned Edward, "The house is spotless." I shook my head. Charlie, Sue, Renee, Phil, and the werewolves were coming. This house had to be as clean as inhumanly possible. I could smell the turkey that Rosalie was cooking in the kitchen. Emmett had come up with an idea for us to eat without leaving the table. Renee, Phil, and Charlie already knew about the Cullen's and my vampirism. All the vampires at the table would be dining on blood soup and Carlisle's finest bloody wine. I was excited, because I didn't think I'd ever be able to spend a human Thanksgiving with Edward. Finally, Esme stopped. With my mind on other matters, I had nearly run into her, but Edward caught me. He smiled and leaned around my head to kiss me. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"They're here!" I shrieked, my voice drowned out by the anniversary clock. I saw Alice swing open the door with a wide grin.

"Hi, Charlie! Hi Sue!" she sang as they entered. "Hi, Renee and Phil! Hi Leah, Seth, Embry, Sam-" Quil cut her off.

"You don't have to greet us all," he laughed. Alice hugged him and kissed Claire on the forehead.

"I'm just so happy you're all here!" she announced. I jumped forward to hug Charlie.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Dad," said cheerily. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm never going to get used to the cold," he mused. I laughed and hugged my mom.

"Glad you could make it," I murmured gratefully.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world," said Phil confusedly. He hadn't actually seen us vampires in person before, and I knew we startled him. I had originally resolved to keep my distance from him, but then he scooped me into a one-armed hug. "I missed you, Bella," he said. I smiled. I hadn't actually expected to suddenly feel so close to my step-dad, but I couldn't help it. He was family, after all.

"Dinner's ready!" called Rosalie. We all filed into the dining room. Carlisle sat at one end of the enlarged table, and Renesmee sat at the other. She was eating "normal" food, because she insisted on eating exactly what Jacob ate. I sat near the end, next to Renesmee. Edward was sitting next to me. Five large turkeys sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, peas, corn, stuffing, and four glistening pumpkin pies.

"Shall we say grace?" asked Carlisle, and, before anyone could answer, he began. "Lord, we thank you for letting our family gather safely. Thank you for this wonderful meal before us. Thank you for everything that we have, and for helping all of us bond as a family. Amen."

"Amen!" boomed Emmett, which was followed by a chorus of rather intimidated Amens. Then, we all started to eat. I tried to be surreptitious and casual about the fact that I was drinking grizzly bear blood (Emmett had insisted), but Jacob laughed at my attempt. Edward tried the turkey while I watched him in amazement.

"You get used to it," he noted, taking another bite. Curious, I tried it too. It was awful! I tried soaking it in the blood that was in my bowl, but stopped when I saw Jacob's face, a mixture of laughter and revulsion. I let the turkey flop back into my bowl and scowled at him, and he laughed. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

Having the family together was amazing. Charlie, with his arm around Sue, was talking to Phil and clearly enjoying himself. Renee was chatting animatedly with Emily. Renesmee, with a mouth full of mashed potatoes, was having a staring contest with Jacob, who also had mashed potatoes in his mouth. Part of the game seemed to be not laughing and spilling all of the potatoes. Leah and Rosalie were laughing. I heard Alice tell Claire that she had to go shopping on Black Friday with her, and I groaned.

"What is it, love?" whispered Edward anxiously.

"Nothing, it's just that…I'm going shopping tomorrow, aren't I?"

"I don't have to be Alice to see that in your future," he said after a long moment, "But she _is_ part of the equation." I laughed and kissed him.

"This is…I'm going to have to make up a new word to describe this dinner…it's magnificulous," I stated. Edward laughed and kissed me.

"Happy Thanksgiving," he murmured.

"Happy Thanksgiving," I answered.


	2. Black Friday

I heard a knock at the door of our cottage. "Come in, Alice!" I yelled from my study. She was by my side in an instant. "Bella! Guess what day it is!" I froze. I always knew she would find me…

"The twenty-eighth of November?" I stalled. She shook her head, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "The three-hundred thirty-second day of the year?" I asked hopelessly.

"Bel_la_," she groaned. "It's Black Friday!" She was grinning maliciously. I knew I couldn't get away from it, but I tried anyway.

"What's Black Friday?" I asked, feigning mock curiosity. She scowled.

"You know what it is, and you're coming with us to go shopping!"

"Us?" I asked real curiosity in my voice this time. "Who else is going?" She rolled her eyes.

"Rosalie, Esme, Renee, Renesmee, Sue, Emily, Claire, Kim, and Rachel," she said, counting them off on her fingers. I groaned.

"What car do we have that holds eleven people?" I inquired.

"First of all, only six _people _are coming."

"Whatever," I muttered. She grinned.

"We rented a limo!" she declared.

"What?!" I yelped. Calming down, I asked, "Where is everyone?" She tensed and her eyes darted around nervously.

"They're sort of outside waiting for you," she confessed. Shaking my head angrily, I dressed at vampire speed and hurried to meet them. Esme looked apologetic; she obviously knew how much I hated shopping. I shrugged. Maybe this could actually be fun. We all loaded into the limousine while Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Edward, and Jacob waved and threw us cheeky grins. I grimaced and stalked to the seats at the very back of the limo. Maybe I could hide there until Alice had finished. Alice watched me and shook her head.

"I'm not letting you escape," she told me. "_You _are sitting in the _front_." I growled loudly and went to sit in the nearest seat to the door. Alice shrugged and sat behind me. I folded my arms and stared out the window as the Cullens' house disappeared. Renesmee leaned across the short aisle to pat my shoulder.

"You'll have a great time, Mom," she comforted. I noticed Renee watching us with tears in her eyes.

"It's like going back in time," she said, shaking her head. I realized that I, the mother, was being the sulky teenager while my daughter acted as the authority figure. I shook my head again and returned to staring out the window. Soon, we arrived at the mall. I stomped out of the car door, but stopped when Emily caught me and showed me the deep craters and cracks my footsteps had left. I groaned and continued towards the mall. Alice was bouncing up and down.

Fortunately, we hardly spent any time there. I only had to endure a few hours of bland dressing rooms and sparkly dresses. Alice moaned that the selection this year was horrible. We finished tagging along behind Renesmee and the humans in our party as they trooped to the food court. On the way home, Alice informed me that the best Black Fridays were always on the odd numbered years. _She would know_, I thought bitterly.


	3. Hannukah

"Happy Hanukkah!" cheered Esme, skipping into the cottage I shared with Edward. I stared at her, confused.

"We're not Jewish," I said bemusedly. She nodded quickly, and I saw the sort of electricity she got in her eyes when she was excited.

"_I'm _not missing out on a wonderful family opportunity just because none of us are _Jewish_," she declared stoutly. Edward laughed from Renesmee's bedroom. Emerging, he said,

"I think it's a wonderful idea."

"Excellent!" sang Esme, clapping her hands together. "Let's go, then."

"W-where?" I asked, taken aback.

"Follow me!" she laughed, dancing out the door. Edward put his hand on my shoulder.

"Shall I go and get Nessie, love?" he inquired. I grinned in spite of myself, and then, for an instant, he was gone. Edward returned, and I saw that my daughter was slung over his back in what she called a "piggy-back ride". I had deduced that she'd gotten the idea from Jacob, for there was nothing pig-like about my look-alike angel of a husband. We worked to keep pace with Esme, who insisted on skipping. Renesmee had a great time, laughing and clapping as she watched her grandmother cartwheel and dance her way to the Cullens' mansion. I shot Edward a reproachful look before hopping gracefully through the glass doors. Jacob was lounging on the couch. As soon as Renesmee saw him, she leaped nimbly into his lap. Jacob kissed her head, and I felt Edward cringe. I chuckled quietly and looked around. the dining room table had been moved to the center of the main room. An extravagant menorah sat on it, the star of David gleaming from the middle of it. A couple of dreidels were next to it. Beyond that, I saw an immense pile of gelt. Quil and Jared were seated at the table.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.

"Well, I'm actually Jewish," said Jared, grinning.

"And I'm just here for the potato pancakes!" laughed Quil.

"Latkes," corrected Esme sternly, appearing at his side with a tray of them.

"So, are we celebrating all eight nights?" I asked Esme, but she shook her head, looking slightly guilty.

"Well...what with Carlisle being a former priest and all, I don't think he would approve..." she trailed off.

"She means that we can have our Hannukah party while Carlisle is hunting," whispered Edward, chuckling quietly. I sighed and sat with him at the table.

"Time to light the candles!" trilled Esme, her eyes bright with excitement. She pulled a long lighter out of her pocket and brandished it like a sword before carefully lighting the middle candle. The flame danced and threw chiaroscuric shadows over everything and everyone. Edward leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear.

"Happy Hannukah, Bella."


	4. Christmas

Renesmee thudded across the hall on Christmas morning. "Mom! Daddy! It's Christmas!" she called, as if we couldn't tell with the thousands of pine, holly, and mistletoe wreaths, the extravagant Christmas tree Edward insisted on having, and the piles upon piles of brightly colored presents. I looked up to see Renesmee, her cheeks pink, her eyes bright, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. Edward and I were sitting at our ivory piano that Rosalie had gotten us as an anniversary gift. He was trying to teach me to play.

"Merry Christmas, Nessie," cooed Edward to our only daughter. She giggled and turned to the tree. Her mouth popped open into a silent "o". It was understandable, as none of the decorations or presents had been there an hour ago. Vampire speed had its advantages. Renesmee raced around the room, examining everything. She marveled over the huge, fresh green wreaths and perused the tree, carefully handling each tiny ornament. Finally, she noticed the presents at her feet. She picked up one and read the label.

"To Nessie. From…_Santa_!" she exclaimed. Edward nudged me. He had entirely disapproved of telling Renesmee about Santa Claus. I had turned a deaf ear in his direction and explained it to our daughter anyway. I only had one child, and I was going to have her believe in Santa Claus! Nessie ripped open the paper and held up her gift. It was a beautifully carved nutcracker. Carlisle had gotten it from Germany. We sat down and opened the rest of our presents, setting the ones for and from the other Cullens to the side. Edward gave me a beautiful necklace constructed of thousands of tiny diamonds, each carved into an intricate heart.

"Edward…" I gasped. He patted my hand.

"You can't get mad at me," he said. "Jasper and I made it." I looked at him questionably. "Jasper pulled the diamond out of the coal mine, I carved the diamonds and set them in the chain, which I made by extracting the silver ore from-" I clapped my hand over his mouth.

"I get it," I whispered, laughing. "Thank- you." I got him a Rolex and a couple of nice Polo shirts. Jacob showed up halfway through opening presents.

"Jake!" yelled Nessie, jumping into his arms. I cringed behind her back, and Edward snickered. Jacob was carrying a few brightly wrapped presents, one for each of us. Mine was flat and thin, wrapped in bright green paper. I peeled it open carefully, and was forcibly reminded of the birthday in which I had cut myself on wrapping paper. I cringed, and Edward laughed softly, probably interpreting my cringe correctly. Jacob had gotten me a book: Hamlet, by William Shakespear.

"I knew you liked Romeo and Juliet, and, you know, I thought you might like one of his tragedies..." Jacob said.

"Right, like my life doesn't have enough tragedy!" I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck. "Thanks, Jake." He grinned sheepishly. He had gotten Nessie a hundred-dollar gift-card to her favorite restraunt, and he had gotten Edward a book to write his compostitions in. We gathered up all the unwrapped presents at noon and headed up to the big house. Alice was standing outside the back door, wearing a magnificent opal on a sparkling gold chain.

"Jasper got it for me," she said when she saw me admiring it. I hugged her and went into the house. Emmett was unwrapping a GPS for his Jeep. Jasper was tossing a pair of car keys in the air, and Carlisle was wearing a brown knitted sweater. Esme was leaning against the wall, beaming. I saw a box of DVDs at her feet. Quil and Claire were there. Claire was tugging on Alice's hand and trying to show her the doll that Carlisle had gotten her. Quil was armwrestling with Rosalie and losing. I grinned and sat down on the couch, pouring the gifts we had brought onto the floor. The pile was quickly attacked by everyone. I saw that Alice had gotten Renesmee about a million new outfits. Edward had gotten Jasper a mood ring as a joke, which he slipped on and laughed loudly. Suddenly, the room felt a lot happier. I wrapped my arm around Edward.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered. "Do you know it's the first Christmas that I've spent with you under pleasant circumstances?" He grinned.

"I hadn't thought of that." He kissed me. "Merry Christmas, Bella."


	5. Halloween

"Renesmee, come here and let me fix your costume," I directed, pulling her to the side and straightening her tiara.

"Am I a good princess?" she asked, twirling around. I laughed.

"Yes, you are a _very _good princess," I replied, smoothing her dress. It was real silk and chiffon, as opposed to the plastic imitations common for Halloween costumes, and her tiny crown was real silver. _Alice_.

"Mommy?" she asked quietly.

"Mm?" I asked absently, pinning my fleece ears into my hair. I hadn't wanted to dress up, but Renesmee had insisted, and Edward thought it would be hilarious to go as a lion and a lamb. I had told him, then, that we should really reverse roles, seeing as I was stronger than him now, but he had replied stubbornly that he had always been the lion, and I the lamb. I think he just didn't want to wear the thick fleecy, humiliating sheep suit.

"How come we didn't celebrate New Years? Or Saint Patrick's Day? Or, Easter or Memorial Day, or the fourth of July, or Labor Day, or Mardi Gras?" She was staring up at me expectantly.

"Because, silly," I struggled. "The, um… the calendar was broken! So, we didn't know what holiday it was."

"Oh… well, why are we celebrating Halloween now?" she asked, confused.

"Um… why don't you go and get your first piece of candy out of the pantry?" I suggested desperately.

"Yay! She exclaimed, disappearing into the kitchen. Edward came up behind me in his lion costume. He hadn't needed to make a mane- his bronze hair was the perfect color. He had gelled it up around his face, and he was wearing a real lion's fur coat and a long, swirling tail.

He looked like Lady Gaga.

"Are you trying to hide from our daughter the fact that we haven't celebrated any holidays since Christmas because we were watching _Friends_?" he inquired slyly. I winced.

"You make it sound bad."

"Well, don't feel bad," he replied. "You also had school, stories to write, and a lot of other important things to do."

"What?" I asked, perplexed.

"Sorry," he murmured, "I might be confusing you with someone else." He turned to face Renesmee as she burst out of the kitchen clutching a Jolly Rancher.

"Open it, Daddy!" she squealed. As his long fingers peeled away at the clear wrapper, I reluctantly attached my tail.

"You're a beautiful lamb," he complimented, too low for Renesmee to hear.

"Trick or treat, trick or treat!" announced Renesmee, darting out of the front door.

"Nessie!" complained Edward, racing after her. I smiled, heading towards the door. Pausing, I quickly ripped the tail form my costume and tossed it into the room. Now I could stand it.

When we reached the big house, everybody was already assembled in the living room. Jacob and Renesmee and Quil and Claire were going trick-or-treating together, while the vampires stayed here and had a Halloween party. Emmett was sporting a large Superman costume, and he kept running around the room with his fists it in front of him, his cape billowing behind him. Rosalie was Cat Woman.

"You're not from the same comic book," commented Edward jokingly.

"He forced me into this," replied Rosalie acidly, grinding her teeth together. Edward raised his eyebrows and turned away, wisely avoiding an argument. Rosalie had wanted to go hunting (her version of trick-or-treating) but Carlisle and Esme had insisted on this party.

At that moment, the rest of my vampire family walked into the room. Alice was swathed in thin scarves- a gypsy. Carlisle was a classic Halloween costume, Count Dracula, and Esme had aligned hers to go with his, so that they were a classic vampire couple. I laughed. Jasper had obviously detested dressing up, and came into the room with the little that Alice had been able to force on him: a tattoo scar, peeling with the speed with which she had applied it, and an orange Jack-o-lantern t-shirt.

"What are you supposed to be?" Emmett asked Jasper, pausing in his "flying".

"I'm a bleeding pumpkin," replied Jasper through his teeth. Alice was beaming. "What are you supposed to be?" he replied acerbically. Emmett stared at him.

"You seriously can't tell?" Jasper rolled his eyes and turned away.

"I'm thirsty," he complained.

"Me too," whined Rosalie, snatching at the chance to achieve what she wanted using strength in numbers. Alice grinned, as did Emmett. We all knew that this was surely a sign of trouble. Of course it was.

Alice started to hum something.

"It's a song, everybody get out, they're going to sing," warned Jasper. I was surprised. He usually lacked a sense of humor. Maybe my constant euphoria was actually making a difference in my brother-in-law.

"Boys and girls of every age," Emmett sang quietly. Jasper and Rosalie shook their heads in unison, backing up.

"Get out," Edward said lowly, "Get out while you still can." Renesmee was giggling.

"Wouldn't you like to see something strange?" chimed Alice, her voice higher.

"Come with us and you will see."

"This our town of Halloween."

"This is Halloween, this is Halloween…" Oh no. They'd gotten Renesmee. And if they had Renesmee, they would find a way to convince all of us to join in this Halloween tune.

I looked around suddenly and realized that Jasper and Rosalie had left, somehow sensing the impending danger. Carlisle was laughing, and Esme was looking at Alice and Emmett in her "you-two-are-crazy-but-I-love-you" sort of way that she reserved especially for them.

I sighed and took a deep breath. "Pumpkins scream in the dead of night." Edward stared at me, first incredulously, then irritated, then resigned, and he, too, began to sing.

"This is Halloween, everybody make a scene."

"Trick or treat, 'til the neighbors come and die of fright," encouraged Alice, grinning. Soon, Claire, Quil, Jacob, Carlisle, and Esme were singing, too. I laughed as we continued.

After Quil and Jacob had chorused in mockery the lines, "In this town we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin song," Jasper appeared in the doorway.

"In this town, don't we love it now, everyone's waiting for the next surprise," he sang, without any reluctance. Alice smiled at him. Then, Rosalie, glaring at Emmett, returned to the house and sang the next line.

"Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can, something's waiting now to pounce and how you'll scream!" Emmett put his arm around her.

"This is Halloween, red and black and spider green!" he continued. I looked around at my happy family and felt immensely happy, too, despite my ridiculous lamb costume.

"Momma?" asked Renesmee softly, looking up at me. I looked down.

"Hm?"

"If we're vampires, why do we have to dress up for Halloween?" She was so sweet, seeming genuinely curious and not trying to criticize Esme's idea.

"Because," I replied, "vampires aren't scary at all. You have to dress up as something _really _scary for Halloween."

"Like what?" she inquired. I grinned and ruffled her hair.

"Like a sheep." She laughed and sang the next line.

"I am the clown with the tear-away face, here in a flash then gone without a trace." Everyone was singing and laughing, and I was almost surprised that such an abstract family could have such a normal celebration.

And so, with the jack-o-lanterns glowing from the table, and the skeletons strung along the walls, the vampires and the werewolves continued their rendition of "This Is Halloween", in a very human, and yet so wonderfully inhuman house, decorated lavishly for the holiday.

"Happy Halloween," murmured Edward. "Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween."

"Tender lumplings everywhere, life's no fun without a good scare…"

HallHafjdnvjnlknHHHa


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, I have unanimously decided that, as I have 67 unfinished stories, I'm going to have to drop some. Some stories I simply begin and then lose interest in them. I apologize, but it doesn't seem fair to leave people waiting for over a year for the next chapter. Because of this, this story is now cancelled unless adopted by another author. If you are interested in adopting this story, please review and let me know!**

**Again, I'm sorry and I hope that you will continue to read my other stories. **


	7. Adopted

This story has been adopted by Jacksonrathbone'sGirl1.

If you want to keep reading, go to her page and find the story "Holidays with the cullens".

Happy Holidays!


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